Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
I'm supposed to have a Ph.D. on the subject of women. But the truth is I've flunked more often than not. I'm very fond of women; I admire them. But, like all men, I don't understand them.
People often remark that I'm pretty lucky. Luck is only important in so far as getting the chance to sell yourself at the right moment. After that, you've got to have talent and know how to use it.
